Lust

When people hear the word "Lust", they instantly think of sex and porn. While I admit I have a weakness in that area just like most men, it is one I can control. I have the ability to shut that switch off before it comes to sinful behavior. As Jesus sank deeper in my heart I learned to develop the ability to turn my head at the first glance. As a wise pastor once taught me, man is wired to love the female body but we are also given the ability to turn our heads and squash the image before it becomes a desire.

My biggest weakness is not a sexual lust, it is a lust of material things I can not have. I am not a rich man. For the most part my wife and I are getting by pay check to pay check. I have a large family, God has blessed me with beautiful children. However this requires sacrifice on my part.

While I would love to drive a Mustang or new Charger, I settle for a small economy, gas efficient car. While I would love to have a 52 inch TV in my living room, I settle for a 37 inch. While I would love to be able to take my wife on a long vacation in the islands, we settle for a few weekend trips camping and enjoying family time together. For the most part I do not complain. I am content with my life. I have faith God will continue to provide for us every month. At times it can be easy to start to worry and let stress get the better part of me but in my heart I know God is watching out for my family and has our best interest in mind.

I guard my heart in this area closely however. I have a weakness that sometimes gets the best of me. Occasionally I come across something I want so bad, but can not afford. It's not the big things either, it is normally something I have no problem living without. Maybe a new video game, the latest electronic device or smart phone. It's the small stuff that my single friends, or those better off financially could afford easily. This at times burns anger in my heart. I let it sink so deep that I begin to say ungodly things and even put me in a state of depression for short time.

God has given me so much joy and love with my family. It is something I did not have growing up and I cherish it more than anything. Then for a short time I let meaningless material objects have me lose sight of all the great things God has created for me. The Devil seems to know exactly how to flaunt such things in front of me. Most of the time it is when I am on such a spiritual high and seem to be moving forward in my walk in leaps and bounds. It is then that the lust seems to build up in my heart and take steps backwards. Sometimes small steps backwards, some time huge leaps. Occasionally I ignore what is right and just buy what I want, this always comes with consequence.

If there is one book in the Bible I find myself turning to often, it would be Ecclesiastes. I find it is filled with so much wisdom. Writen by Solomon in the later years of his life. He is sitting there looking back at all the mistake he made in his foolish youth. He was handed the Kingdom. God gifted him with great wisdom, but he made big mistake. He lost sight of God. He no longer put God first. Pride, envy, and desire for power got the best of him.

Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 (New King James Version)

10 Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them.
I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure,
For my heart rejoiced in all my labor;
And this was my reward from all my labor.
11 Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done
And on the labor in which I had toiled;
And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind.
There was no profit under the sun.

Here was a guy who could and did have anything he desired. God blessed this guy with the resources to have it all. Yet, in the end he felt he was grasping for the wind. His joy had left him. For him happiness was like "grasping for the wind". It went right through his fingers. He discovered over time that all the pleasures of the flesh profited him none.

He explains this in better detail just a few verses down.

Ecclesiastes 2:17-26(New King James Version)

 17 Therefore I hated life because the work that was done under the sun was distressing to me, for all is vanity and grasping for the wind.
18 Then I hated all my labor in which I had toiled under the sun, because I must leave it to the man who will come after me. 19 And who knows whether he will be wise or a fool? Yet he will rule over all my labor in which I toiled and in which I have shown myself wise under the sun. This also is vanity. 20 Therefore I turned my heart and despaired of all the labor in which I had toiled under the sun. 21 For there is a man whose labor is with wisdom, knowledge, and skill; yet he must leave his heritage to a man who has not labored for it. This also is vanity and a great evil. 22 For what has man for all his labor, and for the striving of his heart with which he has toiled under the sun? 23 For all his days are sorrowful, and his work burdensome; even in the night his heart takes no rest. This also is vanity.
24 Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God. 25 For who can eat, or who can have enjoyment, more than I?[b] 26 For God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy to a man who is good in His sight; but to the sinner He gives the work of gathering and collecting, that he may give to him who is good before God. This also is vanity and grasping for the wind.

Solomon learned the hard way that if he worked to fill his pride, and desire for material objects, that would be his only reward. If he was not working for the things of God, he would not be blessed with the things of God. The wisest, richest man of that time found no in life. He became a gatherer and a collector. The joy of God had left him only because he lost sight of the greatness of God himself.

Now I am definitely not a wise and powerful king like Solomon. However I can relate to what went on in his heart. He fell victim of the same Sin that the devil dangles in my heart. I do have one huge advantage however. We no longer have to rely on our own power. I have Jesus inside of me. As long as I stay focused on his desire for me, and all I AM blessed with, those material objects become far less important. I can call on The Holy Spirit and the voice of God to remind me of all that really matters in life.

I also have the words of Solomon and can learn from a wise man who learned the hard way.

Please pray for me to be strong in this area. Finances are slim for my family these days and while I know God will continue to provide, I know The Devil is aware of my weakness and the beast will be trying to push me backwards in my faith when I am at my weakest.