Husbands - It may be Too Late

Men, love your wives. I have a beautiful one. She has a heart I will never find in another. She made me want to be a better person. Through her I found the glory of God. Through my wife I found what the essence of love is all about. I will never find someone I connect through on such an emotional level, I only wish I realized it a long time ago.

I wish someone taught me what an impact my behavior has on those around me. I grew up in a home that did not show love in a healthy way. I grew up feeling it was ok to yell, punch walls and insult each other. The word “Sorry” meant you move on. You don’t hold grudges, you assume life can go on back to normal, what ever normal was in that house.

I had this embedded in me. So when life gave me challenges, I took it out on those around me. I assumed my words would not leave life long scars. I thought my wife and children would have the same “toughness” I was built with. Now I find myself praying that it is not too late to remove that from my children before they have to learn about love the hard way, like I am.

A while back my wife wanted to leave. It was one of the worst days of my life until this week. She had enough of my emotional abuse. Men make no doubt about it, if you let anger get the best of you, it is emotional abuse. It may not be intentional, but you are inflicting a kind of pain on to other people. That is the definition of abuse. I never inflicted physical pain on the ones I love but it is pain non the less.

We turned to the Church. Through Christian counseling and dealing with inner turmoil I had in my own heart, I began to change. I can give a testimony today that I am no longer that man. I have learned how to control those angry impulses. I have learned that while I may just be breaking an object, I may also be breaking a heart.

In the last 9 or 10 months I have had one bad day. My wife and I seemed happy. She seemed to be opening her heart back up to me. Our marriage looked to be turned around. People were noticing. I was getting comments from strangers. Other men wanted to know what I did that caused such a shift. The only answer I could give is “I changed”

This week my wife left me. Through me changing, she has realized how deep the pain runs. She is facing a torn heart. While she still loves me,but she is not sure I can ever get her to forgive me. My chance may be too late. I don’t hate her for this. I am not angry at her. I find myself angry at myself for living blind for so long.

The reason my heart beats, wants out of my life. The one I birthed 4 awesome children with wants out of my life. She is everything to me, and everything is what I now risk losing.

I tell you men this. Love you Wives. Cherish them. Be patient with them. Also try and be your best towards them. There is nothing more painful than the woman you love walking out. Do not make the same mistakes I have made. Do not take their patience for you lightly. Do not take advantage of a forgiving heart. One day they pain my just start to outweigh the love. Your wife is GODS gift to you. Treat her that way. Die out for her like Jesus did for the church. If you are married and have an anger issue, I do not care how minor, go seek help now. Do not fool yourself that you are fine. Do not fool yourself you are normal. You are injured. You have been injured by your upbringing. You have something in you that is not normal. Do not think that pain is restricted to phyiscal abuse. I never struck my wife, but I hurt her the same.

I will not stop fighting for my wife. I am seeking God and trying to further perfect my heart. I want to love like Jesus. With or without her I am stopping the madness that has ruled my life for too long. I am taking control of my emotions, I control my reactions.

Big Bang Falsey

There is a misconception among pseudo scientist that like to claim the BBT is a theory about existence itself. They are not ambitious or knowledgeable enough to be a real scientist, so they sit on forums and news groups on the internet debating with crowds of people who would not know any better. They get a sense of being smart.

I am not a scientist, however when I want to learn something I do not turn to fake scientist sitting on the internet. I've picked up a few books with mathematics and language I really do not understand. What I have realized is we have dumbed down the Big Bang Theory to the point it is not even accurate. We have done so in order for the fake scientist to be able to talk about this theory and sound smart. We have turned it into something they are able to understand and explain to people like me.

Big Bang Theory is not a Theory of existence. It does not say, there was nothing and then matter exploded making our universe. In fact it says the complete opposite.

What the Theory really says i the universe was very condense. It was filled with matter. It was very hot. Something causes that matter to expand over space, making it cool down in the process. We are in a universe that is expanding and cooling down. BBT is by no means a theory about existence itself, more a theory on how our universe formed into what it is today. It is not the origin of life. It also is not tied in with biological evolution. Truth is no consensus has been reached on ideas about the ultimate origin of the universe.

That sums it up simply. Now there are all kinds of equations and theories about radiation, dark matter, speed, energy and light that honestly I do not understand. In fact I have come to the conclusion it is so complex that only a small percentage of people could actually understand such concepts and ideas. The problem is the internet is filled with pseudo scientist who don't fully understand it themselves, but they have a motive to get people to think as they think, so they preach concepts of BBT without even really understand BBT. It is an effective practice of theirs because honestly who knows enough to better argue with them? This is the problem when the goal of science is to prove a group of people wrong, rather than having a goal of discovering the workings of the universe.